Blow up Dolls en route to Benidorm

Never take a flight on a Saturday.
Never take a flight on a Saturday morning.
From Newcastle.
On the first Saturday of the school holidays.
Never take that flight from Newcastle to Alicante.

The kids around me are mostly well-behaved. Except for the family behind me.
The tiny hand of a three year old girl reaches out and violently snatches a pink coloured chew from her dad's hand. Her legs have been kicking seats around her for the last hour. Not even a thank you. The wrapper is tossed into the floor and beady, frantic eyes chew rapidly.

Mum, a bizarre fairground attraction in herself, has passed out against the circular window. Her most distinguishing feature are a set of lips, which have been so filled with fillers, that I wonder, might just detach from her face and float off into orbit. Her teeth are a sterilizing white that makes me wonder why i left my shades in my bag. Her family belongs to the afters of an episode of Geordie Shore. Whilst she, looks like a love island blowup doll.

Never take that flight.